false alarm. still invincible.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
