i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you never un-have a 4some
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
