sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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