Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
