I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
