I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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