well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
