Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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