New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
