Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
