Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
