I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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