PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
NoShamevember. You game?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
