I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
