then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
