bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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