i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
