If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
