Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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