"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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