Already got asked if we're dating
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize