false alarm. still invincible.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
