you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
