I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
