i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Less talking, more tequila
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
