you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
