Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
