I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
