MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
