The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
