I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
