I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
