It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
