So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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