butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
