if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize