Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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