Plan B is the new Plan A
Small penises have feelings too.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
