you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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