I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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