My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
