I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
