If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
