If that was your dad, he is hot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
