How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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