After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
