I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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