It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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