She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
