he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
