I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
