brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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