eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
