I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
