no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
