wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
