the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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