You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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