Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
