So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
