btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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