Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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