i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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