Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have feelings that need drinking.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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