He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
