I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
