we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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