"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
