I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize