she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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