Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize