please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
