i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
