Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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