ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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